The four Horsemen of the UCP Apocalypse, from left to right, Utilities Minister Nathan Neudorf, Premier Danielle Smith, Energy Minister Brian Jean, and Environment Minister Rebecca Schulz, announce the $7-million “Scrap the Cap” campaign yesterday (Photo: Alberta Newsroom/Flickr).

Surely everybody understands that the point of the United Conservative Party Government’s $7-million “Scrap the Cap” scare campaign announced yesterday is to use Alberta taxpayers’ money to campaign against the Trudeau Liberals in the lead-up to the yet-to-be-called next federal election? 

Federal Energy Minister Jonathan Wilkinson (Photo: UN Biodiversity, Creative Commons).

Why do you think the gloomy grey videos of an unhappy family wheeling backwards putting faintly East German looking food cans they can no longer afford back on the shelves of a supermarket will be played in British Columbia, Ontario, New Brunswick and Nova Scotia, all provinces where someone figured out Pierre Poilievre’s federal Conservatives could use some traction?

The ads demanding that the federal Liberals place no cap on oil-and-gas sector emissions will also run in Alberta, of course, to keep the home fires burning, as it were, and no doubt the campaign is being announced now instead of next month to bolster Premier Danielle Smith’s chances in her leadership review in Red Deer at the start of November. 

Asked by a reporter at her news conference yesterday, Why now? Ms. Smith responded with a far-fetched claim the timing was intended to ensure the naughty feds don’t announce something awful at the COP29 United Nations climate conference from Nov. 11 to 22 in Baku, Azerbaijan. (Brace yourselves, fellow Alberta taxpayers, for the cost of the doubtless huge Alberta delegation that will make its way to the windy city of the Caucasus.)

“We have to be the most worried that the federal government is going to be preening on the international stage, and trying to win favour with a certain environmental set, and they’re going to try to brag about what they can do back in Canada,” she said, unconvincingly. “That’s the reason why we would do it now. I think there’s a real danger that we’re going to see some ridiculous policies announced in Baku in the coming weeks.”

According to the government’s news release, the cap would result in 115,000 lost jobs and cost the economy billions, and trotted out as evidence some studies by the usual right-wing think tanks and consulting firms, one of them famously commissioned by the Canadian Association of Petroleum Producers.

Federal Environment Minister Steven Guilbeault (Photo: UN Biodiversity, Creative Commons).

Last spring, journalist Max Fawcett writing in the National Observer quoted a federal official describing that fanciful S&P Global analysis for CAPP as “so deeply flawed, it amounts to disinformation.”

The Calgary-based Pembina Institute called the same report as another example of economic modeling that assumes the industry takes very little meaningful action in its current operations to reduce emissions and therefore has no choice but to limit production, which is misleading for Canadians.”

But it’s probably too much to ask Ms. Smith and the rest of the UCP to scrap the crap when they demand that Ottawa scrap the cap. Misuse of taxes and sophomoric rhyming slogans are the nature of modern conservatism. 

Ms. Smith was accompanied to the news conference by Environment Minister Rebecca Schulz (“this production cap means billions in revenues down the drain”) and Energy Minister Brian Jean (“a cap on oil and gas production will kill jobs and investment”). Utilities Minister Nathan Neudorf was on set too, looking as grim as the other three, but only as a walk-on, with no scripted lines. 

Mr. Neudorf, of course, is the minister responsible for last year’s seven-month ban on new renewable energy projects and the UCP’s continuing effort to smother renewable projects in Alberta, which drew a sharp response from the federal government yesterday. 

Alberta Health Minister Adriana LaGrange at her separate news conference yesterday (Photo: Alberta Newsroom/Flickr).

“It is pretty clear that Premier Smith is using this to distract from her own anti-energy policies that have put 24,000 Albertan energy jobs, $33 billion in investment, $54 million in local tax revenues, and enough energy to power 98 per cent of Albertans’ homes at risk,” federal Energy Minister Jonathan Wilkinson and Environment Minister Steven Guilbeault said in a joint statement. 

“Repeating a lie does not make it true,” the statement said. “Our government’s commitment is to drive down pollution from the oil and gas sector, not to cut production. Canada’s oil and gas industry recognizes this imperative: they know that reducing their pollution is necessary for their own long-term competitiveness.”

“Canadians know that when oil and gas companies are making record profits, they should be doing their fair share and investing back in clean technologies that create good-paying, sustainable jobs for Albertans, all while protecting our environment,” the statement continued.

The federal ministers concluded: “Instead of wasting $7 million in taxpayer dollars to spread thoroughly debunked disinformation to appease her base ahead of her leadership review, Premier Smith should focus on collaborating with us to protect Albertan energy workers – now and for decades to come.”

“Primary Care Alberta” CEO appointee Kim Simmonds (Photo: Alberta Newsroom/Flickr).

While Ms. Smith wasn’t very convincing about the timing of her announcement, she is probably right when she described the Trudeau government as being on its last legs. 

“This is when I would anticipate that if they don’t see a pathway to re-election by being reasonable and working collaboratively, that they’re going to pass all kinds of policy, knowing that it would be complicated and take some time to undo it,” she claimed, an interesting if unintended comment on the UCP’s own modus operandi

Indeed, that is exactly what the Smith Government is doing with its destructive and costly program of breaking up Alberta Health Services and replacing it with four expensive separate bureaucracies, each with its own highly paid leadership. 

Thus, also yesterday, presumably by coincidence, Health Minister Adriana LaGrange announced the appointment of Kim Simmonds, assistant deputy minister of strategic planning and performance at Alberta Health, as chief executive officer of “Primary Care Alberta,” the latest breakaway health care agency.

It will be extremely difficult for a more responsible and competent future government, even if it employs all the King’s horses and all the King’s men, to put Alberta Health Services back together again and get rid of the unneeded bureaucrats and UCP loyalists hired to engineer chaos in health care.

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39 Comments

  1. “another example of economic modeling that assumes the industry takes very little meaningful action in its current operations to reduce emissions and therefore has no choice but to limit production, which is misleading for Canadians.” Or to take responsibility for the mess they leave behind! That along with losing the profits to foreign investors for 40 years? Now that’s Governance! Alberta style!

  2. Yes, the UCP seems to now be even more directly campaigning against the current increasingly unpopular Federal government.

    Given the polls, I’m not sure the CPC really needs any help at this point. However even Smith, who is not always that in touch with reality seems to at least realize that the money is best spent elsewhere, rather than in trying to persuade the 7% or so of Albertans who still support Trudeau.

    Also, given how flush with cash their Federal colleagues are, this seems to be a waste of provincial money. And any new measures by the Feds at this point would likely be short lived. So I suppose this is the UCP equivalent of virtue signalling, or as they often like to say owning the Libs.

    I suppose it is also a nice way for Smith to distract from things like the dismantling of AHS and health care or rising unemployment in Alberta. This rise may be related to languishing oil prices and questionable UCP initiatives such as trying to shut down the renewable energy industry in Alberta. I guess here in Alberta, some jobs are more important than others.

  3. Danielle Smith is showboating, because her leadership review is not that far off. Therefore, she is pulling out all the stops to try and convince others that the federal Liberals are the bad guys, while making it look like she is a saint. This is way off. The federal Liberals gave Alberta a hefty sum of money to cleanup the abandoned oil wells in Alberta, and the UCP had to return a portion of the money, because it wasn’t used. Meanwhile, the UCP are making a big mess of public healthcare in Alberta, and they don’t want Albertans to focus on that. I hope that Danielle Smith is punted in her leadership review. Pierre Poilievre will be another disaster for Canada, but there are people who will not see that at all. These phony Conservatives and Reformers will only destroy jobs, ruin our public healthcare, and make their rich friends even richer.

  4. With the hundreds of millions of dollars Marlaina is wasting on this kind of nonsense, she could afford to pay nurses, teachers and social workers a fair wage. This is what you get when a petrostate elects a lobbyist for the fossil fuel industry.

  5. Can the the UCP and Conservatives speak in words of more than one syllable and sentences of more than 3 words?

  6. Where’s Nenshi in all this misinformation and malware? Isn’t this the party that has mega $ in its coffers, so where are the ads and reels? You counted on us to win the leadership and now we’re counting on YOU to counter Duchess Dani’s messaging. Or will you simply roll over like a tired retriever and admit that her strategists are better than yours?

      1. The difference is, the sooner Nenshi shows that he has better ideas than Smith, the more likely he’ll WIN the next election. You can’t start sooner than now.

  7. While these Reformers continue to spread their lies and blame Trudeau for our high cost of living those of us who have been travelling and talking to people from other countries know the high cost of living was created by the COVID pandemic as an excuse to raise prices and it isn’t just Canada that is having this problem like the Reformers want us to believe.

    1. I do not like it here or there
      I do not like it anywhere
      I do not want a carbon cap
      So no I will not cut the crap!
      DJC

      1. LOL ….I’m impressed sensei
        ( hands together, deep bow)

        Better than
        a thousand days
        of diligent study
        is one day with
        a great sensei

  8. We are left to wonder about the NDP’s response.
    And whether Alberta’s response would be any different under a NDP government.

    When Danielle Smith rejected the just transition, Notley opposed it too. When Smith embraced carbon capture and storage (CCS), Notley went along. When Smith opposed the federal O&G emissions cap, Notley attacked it too.

    “Alberta NDP leader wants Ottawa to drop ‘just transition’ bill” (CBC, Jan 11, 2023)
    https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/edmonton/alberta-ndp-leader-wants-ottawa-to-drop-just-transition-bill-1.6718678

    “We are in what I would describe as a crisis right now, in that we have a federal government about to move forward on legislation that has wide-ranging consequences, particularly to the people of Alberta. My view is that the federal government has to put the brakes completely on its legislative plans for this spring with respect to the sustainable jobs legislation, as well as plans for the emissions cap.”
    “Braid: Notley says Smith and Ottawa both to blame for deepening crisis over jobs, emissions” (Calgary Herald, Jan 17, 2023)
    https://calgaryherald.com/opinion/columnists/braid-notley-says-smith-and-ottawa-both-to-blame-for-deepening-crisis-over-jobs-emissions

    “Alberta’s Opposition leader Rachel Notley said she didn’t agree with the federal government’s plan to reduce Canada’s emissions by 40 to 45% below 2005 levels by 2030, nor federal NDP leader Jagmeet Singh’s assertion such targets weren’t aggressive enough.
    “‘Both are wrong, and I’ve been very clear on that, and that has been my position and I will advocate that position with every tool and tactic that I can muster, should I be given the opportunity to do that job, because it’s not practical.'”
    “Federal department says ‘just transition’ document refers to industry size, not job loss” (CBC, Jan 17, 2023)
    https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/premier-danielle-smith-just-transition-martin-olszynski-1.6716397

    “Trudeau’s oil policy is too harsh for Alberta’s left-leaning contender” (Bloomberg News, May 10, 2023)
    “The woman who’s looking to reclaim power in Canada’s energy heartland is pushing back against Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s targets for cleaning up the O&G industry.
    “Rachel Notley … said Trudeau’s plan for cutting the sector’s emissions by more than 40% by the end of the decade is too onerous.
    “Her stance mirrors that of the country’s largest crude producers — and it’s also one that may be a political necessity as her New Democratic Party battles for votes in a province where oil is king and the prime minister is deeply unpopular.
    “‘I don’t believe that the current drafted emissions caps that we’ve seen are realistic.’
    “‘Using aspirational numbers to drive practical policy is not a recipe for success. The key is making sure that what we put in place is practical and achievable, and it doesn’t become so oppressive that we find ourselves shutting in production.’
    “Notley said she doesn’t oppose a cap in principle, but she declined to provide her own emissions target, saying she’d consult with experts and industry on the matter.
    “‘We’re not going to be unambitious. But we are going to be realistic, and we’re going to make sure that the industry is able to continue to flourish.’
    “‘Both Alberta and Canada do best when energy policy is crafted, quite frankly, by Alberta. So we want to be at the table, we want to be driving the conversation, and we want to be coming up with solutions that ultimately drive investment and grow our markets.’
    https://calgaryherald.com/pmn/business-pmn/trudeaus-oil-policy-is-too-harsh-for-albertas-left-leaning-contender/wcm/855dd608-7ee3-4e44-88c2-f56f34f3d92b

    Today, the AB NDP rejects consumer carbon pricing. Supports carbon capture and storage. Supports O&G subsidies. Supports new pipelines that sabotage Canada’s climate targets. Opposes a just transition for workers. Nenshi opposes the federal greenwashing bill.
    “Nenshi criticizes federal energy policy in first address to Calgary business community” (Calgary Herald, Sep 17, 2024)

    1. Thing is, we don’t have to wonder about WHAT THE UCP is doing, they’re being blatant and open about it. I know it is satisfying to one’s ego to pretend to be the smartest person in the room but the NDP is not in government, and chances are good (even?) they won’t be. Dithering with hypotheticals is rearranging the deck chairs on the titanic. There’s more pressing issues.

    2. Despite Kevin Taft’s exclamations of “markets”, which are, given his analysis of actual observable economic relations, likely a form of Tourette syndrome, his analysis of the power of the oil industry in Alberta should be read by all Albertans. Institutional capture is a very real phenomenon, which is likely why the public is being conditioned by kooky conmen like RFK Jr. to reject the concept as yet another MAGA trope. “Oil’s Deep State: How the Petroleum Industry Undermines Democracy and Stops Action on Global Warming — in Alberta, and in Ottawa”

  9. What’s that? “Scrap the Crap”?

    I’m surprised the premier of Alberta had time to step away from her other gigs downplaying the importance of childhood vaccinations and bashing trans kids. It must be so much easier and infinitely more satisfying for people like her to bully helpless children. Spending millions needlessly at every turn must be a rush, though, like a high stakes table at a casino, with someone else’s account. Vegas, baby!

  10. Yelling at clouds – they talk about billions while two hurricanes caused damage a hundred times that in the US south-east. Either our neighbours to the south will elect a fascist who will tank their, and hence our, economy, or they are going to transition away from fossil fuels because quite frankly they are too expensive. Despite being the world’s largest oil producer, oil does not have the outsized influence on their economy as it does here, and they will drop it like a hot potato. I remember when oil prices plummeted after the financial crisis in 2007. Canadian economists were wailing and it was hard times. In the US the economic picture presented by economists was – meh – bad for oil companies but good for consumers and we have bigger fish to fry. For the good of Alberta and Canada Conservatives need to pull their head out and see they are shilling for saddles and buggy whips.

    1. Brother, you should stop drinking the water down there if you believe that KH a former PROSECUTOR represents anything other than FURTHER fascism from a government that literally has the president stand in front of them when he makes an address. I appreciate the advice but maybe reconsider your analysis of your own damn country, as millions of people die thanks to the TWO proxy wars started by the Democratic “administration”

      I mean for gods sake, AMERICA is still at this moment illegally stealing oil from Syria, a country they’re illegally occupying, it’s not important to their economy !? They’ll drop it like a hot potato? I sincerely doubt that, just look at how far they’re bending over backwards to ensure Israel doesn’t attack their neighbours oil facilities in the region. That’s because oil is very important, especially in an election year when you’re already fighting historic inflation.

      Not even going to dig into the fact that most of the oil companies and newspapers pushing this garbage are AMERICAN or that a huge chunk of the “convoy” money came from down there too, but all of those things are true.

      It’s such a ridiculous assertion it literally put a smile on my face with its absurdity. The thrust of American foreign policy of the last hundred years AT LEAST has been oil diplomacy.

  11. MAGAnauts, Q-ed-on-the-right, so excited but bored outside another rally that they wax rapturously to just about any independent journalist who happens by with a microphone that Godetal sent Donald F tRump down from heaven to save America. Accordingly they won’t be left behind when “the chosen one” exacts retribution on the “communists,” “groomers,” “rapists,” “muslims,” and “murders,” this group reliably estimated to be at least half the US population, and probably an actual majority at any given moment. This tragi-comedy of the redoubtable reactionary-right, lumbering like a wounded Godthrilla-in-Manila about to fall, obviously isn’t a math lesson for the benefit of MAGAnauts, but rather a lesson for everyone in the world.

    Alberta’s TBAUCP government, also sketchy on the math, is one of tRump’s most diligent students, in this instance cleverly casting Canadians in the role of the helpless Zelenskyy, and itself as the malignant-narcissist tRump who uses taxpayers’ money to extort personal favours from the Ukrainian president. The real tRump of course was impeached for illegally squeezing Zelenskyy (tRump had no constitutional authority to withhold military aid that Congress had already approved) but he continued to break the law anyway, earning a second impeachment and numerous felony charges, including for very serious espionage offences; yet he is still campaigning with more dangerously defamatory, hate-inciting rhetoric than ever before, insisting he has already won before ballots are marked, let alone counted. If the UCP keeps borrowing from the tRumpublican playbook like it has, it’s hardly surprising that it does so as if there’s no political tomorrow.

    One of the most conspicuous examples of the UCP’s psephological recklessness is it’s brash steps to break up the public Alberta healthcare service, privatize large parts of it and dare the feds to say it offends the Canada Health Act: ‘send us the federal subsidy anyway or the last of universal public healthcare in Alberta gets it!’ This the essential teaching of tRump Q’anon’ran Sutra of “leverage.”

    But I don’t think it’d be that hard to put it back together once Albertans figure it out that they want a governing party which will protect their universal public healthcare, not wreck it. How difficult that will be depends on how much and what parts the TUBCAP government gets privatized before the next election —like, maybe when it feels the hot breath of popular anger as the date with voters approaches. Or maybe even shortly after Danielle Smith successfully genuflects her way through her approaching leadership review. And of course after the real big event many Canadian politicians are waiting for—the US election: much depends on whether tRumps wins or not.

    Insofar as federal Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre is an unabashed disciple of tRumpublican große Lüga propaganda, and as Danielle Smith is allied with his plan to gut carbon taxes, emissions caps, and other measures to mitigate climate-change (of which Alberta forwent billions of dollars trying to stop hungry investors in alternative-energy generation and use), and insofar as Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is currently being pressured in public by his some of his own caucus to consider stepping down just as PP ramps his tRumpublican-like hyperbole up to its highest acrimony yet, the possibility that the Orange-Spay-Goo-Tan might lose on November 5th means MACGGA (Make Alberta and other Conservative Governments Great Again) might have less than three weeks left to expose JT to maximum ad hominem and climate-change to maximum dismissal before deciding if PP’s bile should be damped down by disassociating from a loser and his losing demagoguery—not least because a tRump loss would compensate for retiring a so-far successful Big-Lie campaign by eliminating one of the last rationales Trudeau could use to stay on longer than his detractors would like: he’s the only leader with hands-on tRump experience and could argue that tRump, if he wins,will be even worse this time. Insofar as tRump is an exceptional, clear and present threat to Canada and the whole world, there’s a remote argument that JT’s the only one who can contain the pompous man-baby, and therefore justify an exceptional fourth term. I did say “remote.”

    PP could afford to tone down his caustic rhetoric (that voters are beginning to tire of anyway) if tRump loses because that would disadvantage Trudeau—that is, JT would lose whatever advantage he might have gotten from a tRump victory.

    On the other hand, a tRump victory would buy JT more time to implement and armour legacy policies to protect Canada from a second tRump term, but deprive PP’s continuing resort to the tRump playbook because the majority of Canadians would likely find him guilty by way of association with the dangerous ignoramus which they and most of the world despise.

    But while we’re speculating on permutations of different but related events, consider for a moment what conservative victories in BC (October 19) and New Brunswick (Oct 21)elections would mean for everybody’s calculus—which of course will be a prelude to three big days just up ahead: Smith’s leadership review, the US election, and the Prime Minister’s decision, any day thereafter, as to whether he’ll step down sooner or later. PP’s worst case scenario is a tRump victory that turns Canadians off of the spiteful rhetoric he’s been droning on with, JT stepping down at a propitiously-timed leadership convention with which momentum the Liberals can ride into the next election in about a year from now.

    I, personally, don’t believe JT will seek a rare fourth term, but a right-wing trifecta (Victoria, Fredricton, and Washington DC) would probably be pretty tempting. Or maybe he’ll try to make a comeback like his dad: remember, “Well, welcome to the 1980s” ? (I think times have changed too much for that to ever happen—but, jeez, you never know, these days…)

    The next Alberta government, presuming it’s the one which will revive public healthcare no matter what experimental atrocities the Smith&Parker Gang have done to it, might also take a page from any one of tRump’s episodes on the Apprentice: the new government can tell whatever doctors who were allowed private billing by the UCP, “You’re Fired!”

  12. Did they switch from ace the tax to axe the cap because Canadians are smart enough to realize basically all the money from CONSUMERS comes back in the form of rebates and any additional costs adds up to about six cents out of every ten dollars ? What is that .006 of a penny ? I’m not the best at math.

    Or did they realize it was ridiculous on its face when oil companies posted revenue increases of 140% from 21-22 an estimated 48 billion dollars in profit (conservatively) or 24 times the cost of raising the carbon tax ? Seems like oil
    Companies (primarily American) should have plenty of cash on hand to pay for the intended, unintended, and unexpected consequences of them being the most profitable industry in the history of the world for a hundred years or so.

    As I’ve often said they should be happy with the tax, they’d prefer it over the Romanov option, one way or another the rapacious runaway wealth of a class of people hell bent on killing the rest of us will have to be addressed.

    Socialism or Barbarism, which sounds better to y’all

  13. It’s interesting how CON provincial governments are determined to spend their own public monies, bankrupting themselves, for the sake of saving Skippy Pollivere’s bid to become the worst PM Canada has ever had.

    We’ll have to see how all this is shaped by the US elections, of course. Personally, I’d like PMJT to hand the Foreign Interference file off to the RCMP and an independent committee and get the housecleaning going. But…that would mean, effectively, proving everyone in the HofC is guilty of something.

    1. Stephen Harper was the worst PM Canada ever had and I will be damned if anyone else is coronated in my lifetime.

      Poutine is Harper lite if there ever was anyone, so he gets points for sucking but loses for lack of originality.

  14. I do wonder if there could be an unintended consequence to the Smith government’s advertising campaign.

    In some circles in the rest of Canada, Alberta has a very unsavory reputation as a backwards, regressive province. The recent announcement that Alberta is putting more restrictions on renewable energy will only strengthen that opinion. I don’t know how many people that see Alberta in that negative light would be inclined to vote conservative, but I expect those that would consider voting CPC are probably swing voters. An Alberta government ad campaign that draws attention to a pro-environment initiative the federal government is undertaking could very easily see some of those swing voters swing back to the Liberal side again. That is, if Alberta does not like it, it must be good.

  15. It doesn’t matter what these Reformers do to us there is enough mindless seniors to keep them in power believing every lie they feed them. Hurling their sarcastic comments at us for not being as stupid as them and trying to stop it. We think Smith will get re-elected because they aren’t smart enough to realize that she is putting their lives at risk by what she is doing to our healthcare system. I have heard that some doctors and nurses are waiting to see what happens and if she is they are gone.

  16. The UCP, through a mirror darkly, are maybe grasping that they are not sitting at the big kids’ table. https://energi.media/news/global-refinery-margins-fall-to-multiyear-seasonal-lows-in-september/
    In the meantime Mr. Last-barrel-of -oil-in-the-world Nenshi is earnestly promising a really pragmatic bowl-in-hand-please sir, I want some more style.
    Really disappointed with Carla Peck’s rebuttal to the thug as well. More of the same, but nicer to teachers. When does it click in? We are not running anything; we are being run.
    Anybody on here want to sell me a vote for Sonia Furstenau? https://www.timescolonist.com/opinion/comment-choose-a-government-that-collaborates-for-real-change-not-more-division-and-empty-promises-9663201

    1. The one thing conservatives are right about, they’ll be pumping oil out of the ground long after we are all dead. I know I say it a lot but it’s the most profitable industry in the history of the world. They didn’t stop whaling for oil because the world grew a conscience about whales, it ceased to be profitable. This why a carbon tax works well as a cash grab but not as a meaningful deterrent to oil exploration: it’s insanely profitable to be in the oil business.

      Deciding that we are going to tar every single progressive leaning politician that doesn’t want to blow up all the oil and gas wells as a charlatan who doesn’t care about the environment is admitting defeat before we can even begin. Unless we are talking about wholesale replacement of our current (capitalist) economy these people are going to have to work within a certain framework they do not have a lot of power over : oil oligopolies.

      If it were possible to run one’s economy on renewables alone, China would be doing it, in Canada we don’t even have a drop in the bucket to replace what we receive from oil and gas, as all our politicians have proceeded to argue about clean infrastructure rather than build it.

      That is all to say, dissing a political candidate that doesn’t even have a seat yet because they haven’t immediately got rid of one of the main linchpins of the world economy is a bit of a shallow read.

  17. **Stephen Harper’s Journey: A Seussian Tale**

    In the land of the Maple, where the strong rivers flow,
    Lived a fellow named Stephen, with a heart set aglow.
    With a suit and a tie, and a smile oh so wide,
    He dreamed of a Canada where all could take pride.

    He grew up in Calgary, in a house not so small,
    With books and with puzzles stacked up in the hall.
    He studied and pondered, oh yes, day and night,
    Thinking, “One day, I’ll give this world a good fight!”

    He learned all about budgets, about taxes and trade,
    And how to build bridges, oh yes, he was made!
    Then one fateful day, with a grin and a cheer,
    He said, “I’ll be Prime Minister! My time is quite near!”

    He entered the House with a confident stride,
    With questions and answers, he wouldn’t just hide.
    He spoke of the North, of the West, and the East,
    With policies grand, he aimed for a feast!

    “Let’s build up our army! Let’s help out the poor!
    Let’s make Canada shine, let’s open the door!”
    He waved to the crowds, he stood tall and proud,
    With visions for Canada, he spoke clear and loud.

    But oh, in his journey, not all was just right,
    There were ups and there were downs, from morning till night.
    With challenges faced and debates that would roar,
    He learned how to listen, to settle the score.

    The years rolled along, like a train on the track,
    With triumphs and trials, there was no turning back.
    He worked for the people, with passion and care,
    From hockey to health, he was always aware.

    But like all great stories, there comes a big bend,
    And Stephen, he knew, it was time for an end.
    He waved goodbye gently, with a tear in his eye,
    And stepped from the spotlight, beneath the blue sky.

    Now he looks to the future, with memories bright,
    Of a country he loved, of each day and each night.
    For whether in politics or simply at play,
    Stephen Harper will cherish each wonderful day.

    So remember, dear friends, as you drift off to dream,
    Life is a journey, like a wide flowing stream.
    With twists and with turns, and a dance in the light,
    You too can achieve your dreams, oh what a delight!

  18. And of course, in the style of Franz Kafka …

    **The Transformation of Pierre Poilievre: A Kafkaesque Tale**

    In a city that sprawled endlessly beneath a gray sky, where the streets twisted like the thoughts of its inhabitants, there lived a man named Pierre Poilievre. By day, he navigated the labyrinthine corridors of politics, a realm rife with shadows and murmurs. He was a man of words, wielding rhetoric like a finely honed blade, yet beneath the polished surface lay a tumultuous sea of ambition and uncertainty.

    One dreary morning, Pierre awoke to find himself in an unfamiliar room, the walls cloaked in peeling wallpaper that seemed to pulsate with a life of its own. As he sat up, a deep unease settled in his chest. The air was thick with a sense of foreboding, as if the very atmosphere conspired against him. He glanced at the mirror, half-expecting to see the face of a stranger staring back, but found instead his own, yet somehow altered, marred by a look of desperate determination.

    Shaking off the feeling, he donned his suit, adjusting his tie with meticulous care, preparing to face the day ahead. Outside, the streets were alive with the cacophony of voices, each echoing the fears and desires of the populace. Pierre moved through the throngs, his presence commanding yet disquieting, like a figure emerging from a fog that obscured the line between reality and illusion.

    In the halls of the legislature, he engaged in fierce debates, each exchange of words feeling increasingly futile. His colleagues, faces etched with confusion, seemed to respond not to his logic but to some unspoken force that rendered their interactions absurd. Despite his efforts to rally support, he often felt like an outsider, an actor in a play with no clear script.

    One fateful evening, after a particularly arduous day of rhetoric, Pierre found himself wandering into an alleyway shrouded in darkness. Here, the air was thick with whispers that danced on the edge of comprehension. He stumbled upon a gathering of disheveled figures, each consumed by their own existential dilemmas. They spoke in fragmented sentences, their words weaving a tapestry of despair and confusion. Pierre listened, drawn into their bleak reality, his heart heavy with a sense of shared disillusionment.

    In the weeks that followed, Pierre’s own thoughts began to mirror those of the alleyway’s inhabitants. He grappled with the meaning of his work, the promises made to his constituents now feeling like chains binding him to a role he could no longer understand. Each speech felt hollow, each policy a mere shadow of genuine intent. The city, once a canvas for his ambitions, transformed into a cage of doubts.

    As the days turned into weeks, Pierre’s colleagues noticed a change. He grew increasingly withdrawn, his passionate speeches replaced by an eerie monotone that left the assembly in stunned silence. Where once he had been a figure of vigor, he now appeared as a specter of his former self, moving through the chambers like a ghost caught between worlds.

    One bleak morning, as the fog clung to the city like a pall, Pierre received an anonymous letter slipped beneath his door. The message, cryptic and foreboding, spoke of a reckoning that awaited him—a choice to either embrace his true self or remain trapped in the role imposed upon him. The weight of the letter hung over him, a surreal omen that he could neither comprehend nor ignore.

    In a moment of profound clarity, Pierre decided to confront the absurdity of his existence. He strode back to the alleyway, where the figures gathered in disarray. Standing before them, he spoke not of policies or promises but of the human condition, the frailty of ambition, and the weight of expectation. The crowd listened in rapt silence, their eyes reflecting a flicker of understanding, as if he had finally broken through the veil of absurdity that enveloped them all.

    But even as he spoke, a strange transformation occurred within him. The boundaries between Pierre Poilievre, the politician, and Pierre, the man, began to dissolve. In that moment of raw honesty, he felt both liberated and entrapped, liberated by the truth but entrapped by the realization of the futility of his ambitions.

    As he stepped back into the world, he understood that the city would continue to spin in its chaotic dance, indifferent to the struggles of its inhabitants. And in that acceptance, Pierre found a semblance of peace, a recognition that perhaps the absurdity of life was not something to be conquered, but something to be embraced.

    In the end, Pierre Poilievre remained a man caught in the labyrinth of existence, navigating the complexities of identity, ambition, and the profound absurdity that underlies all human endeavors. In the echoing halls of power, he walked as both a figure of authority and a wanderer in search of meaning, forever entangled in the intricate web of his own making.

    1. Just Me— Pierre Polievre quote

      ” Since I couldn’t find fame nor glory in hockey, I decided to go into politics ”

      (I rest my case)

  19. There is a significant amount of legitimate disagreement amongst many environmentalists and climate activists about whether it is, in fact, even possible to reduce CO2 emissions from the fossil fuel industry without reducing production. That disagreement is largely based on doubts about whether carbon capture and sequestration is technology that can actually work at scale.

    But be that as it may, the federal government’s plan is not to cap production, just emissions. If the industry is able to square that circle, production can continue as long as there is market demand for their product.

    Maybe Smith et. al. are simply revealing their secret belief that CCS can’t work, and that any reduction in GHG emissions can only come by reducing production.

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