Would you like a nasal swab with your fries, sir? Health care comes to A&W, McDonald’s and Timmy’s in Jason Kenney’s Alberta

Alberta Premier Jason Kenney runs a government deeply committed to erasing the obvious connection between government and the services that are essential to the functioning of society.

How else is he going to persuade Albertans to abandon public health care that works for the broken privatization model now destroying our neighbour to the south one COVID-19 infection at a time?

This is certainly why the idea of using fast-food drive-through windows to distribute 20 million surplus masks that apparently aren’t up to medical snuff and calling it a social distancing measure appealed to Mr. Kenney’s strategic brain trust.

Presumably they had to do something with the masks, and they couldn’t very well give the job of handing them out to physicians. After all, this government’s at war with Alberta’s doctors. God forbid you should ask a doc for medical advice when you’re picking up a mask and give her an excuse for more billing!

What’s more, the UCP wouldn’t want to have an Alberta Health clinic do the job, or even the provincial building in your community, because that would certainly remind some taxpaying Albertans that governments actually do stuff that’s useful. Remember, the UCP is a political party dedicated to the proposition government should be dragged into the bathroom and drowned in the bathtub.*

There’s a Post Office in every community too, but asking Posties to hand them out would mean…