“He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction,” King Solomon is reputed to have said, with the wisdom for which he was renowned. 

King Solomon, as imagined by Gustave Doré, circa 1866 (Image: Wikimedia Commons).

Whether it was Solomon who said it or someone else, like maybe his mom Bathsheba, it’s pretty good advice, especially in the 21st Century’s gossipy global village. 

So why wouldn’t David Parker, founder and according to Elections Alberta titular chief financial officer of Take Back Alberta, take it? 

Surely Mr. Parker is a student of scripture if anyone in Alberta is – and even if he isn’t, his dad has a university degree in the topic. 

After all, Mr. Parker promised Alberta Premier Danielle Smith on March 5 he would zip his lips and behave himself on the social media platform formerly known as Twitter after she publicly took him to the woodshed for insulting federal Conservative Leader Pierre Poilievre and his wife. 

Yet, yesterday, Mr. Parker was back at it, tweeting as intemperately as ever about Elections Alberta, which he said has subpoenaed him “to appear before their investigation of Take Back Alberta.”

Alberta Premier Danielle Smith – Et tu, Dani? (Photo: Alberta Newsroom/Flickr).

Now, it isn’t exactly news that Elections Alberta is taking a look at TBA, the faction of the United Conservative Party that takes credit for turfing former Premier Jason Kenney and replacing him with Ms. Smith, who at the time was a far-right talk radio bloviator known for her advocacy of unhinged ideological causes and quack medical cures.

Back in mid-January, independent journalist Jeremy Appel reported that Mr. Parker had told an “emergency meeting” of TBA supporters on Zoom that he would refuse to co-operate with Elections Alberta’s probe of the group. 

Leastways, Mr. Parker told his supporters, before he would co-operate with the office of the Legislature responsible for administering Alberta elections and enforcing the rules, it would have to be purged of all of its employees! Somewhere along the line, TBA registered with Elections Alberta as a third-party advertiser, a decision that Mr. Parker may now regret. 

Mr. Appel added to his account of the Zoom meeting the caveat that Mr. Parker isn’t exactly known as reliable narrator, but since Elections Alberta is unlikely to say anything about what it’s up to till the dust has all settled, we’ll just have to take Mr. Parker’s word for it. 

Anyway, getting back to yesterday’s tweet, according to Mr. Parker, he has now been subpoenaed and ordered to meet with Elections Alberta next Friday at 1 p.m. in the agency’s nondescript office near the former Blatchford Field aerodrome in Edmonton. 

Julius Caesar, as imagined by someone, perhaps Raffaello Schiaminossi, circa 1610 (Image: Metropolitan Museum of Art/Public Domain).

“They are demanding that I release the entire list of donors to Take Back Alberta,” he complained. “This is a violation of the Elections Act, since the donors to Take Back Alberta were not donating for political advertising.”

One supposes this could be a point of legitimate dispute, but since none of us are privy to Election’s Alberta’s correspondence, it’s not entirely clear exactly what is going on.

That said, it certainly doesn’t help Mr. Parker’s case to reveal all this stuff. Solomon could have told him that – indeed, he may have done, if it’s really true it was the king who wrote the Book of Proverbs. 

Be that as it may, Mr. Parker vowed, “I will not be releasing the names of our donors so that they can be harassed by left wing activists.”

“I am aware of over 50 complaints being submitted to Elections Alberta about collusion between the Alberta NDP and unions,” he went on – an interesting factoid that raises the question of how he knows about any complaints. “Elections Alberta has refused to investigate either the unions or the Alberta NDP,” he added confidently, also without providing evidence. 

According to Mr. Parker, he’s been summoned “for simply teaching people how their democracy works and encouraging people to get involved.”

“In light of the rampant corruption at Elections Alberta,” concluded Mr. Parker, who seems to continue to harbour Caesarian delusions, “we will be holding a protest outside of Elections Alberta between 12pm and 3pm on March 22nd, 2024.”

It will be interesting to see how many of his supporters show up. 

One has the feeling that Mr. Parker, having crossed the Rubicon when he publicly went after the Poilievre family, doesn’t really enjoy the support he thinks he does, and perhaps once did, within the United Conservative Party. 

We don’t know, of course, if Mr. Parker received the subpoena yesterday, which happened to be the Ides of March, but given his well-known lack of impulse control on social media, it seems likely. 

Will Mr. Parker soon have cause to say to Premier Smith, not so long ago his wedding guest, “Et tu, Dani?” 

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24 Comments

  1. Prov 27:17: “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.”

  2. Davey has a knack for being an agitator, and he doesn’t like democracy. What Take Back Alberta does resemble is a full blown cult. Nobody has even elected him, and he is intent on getting dominance of the political sphere in Alberta. The UCP doesn’t like democracy either, and that’s why the last UCP leader sacked the Alberta Elections Commissioner, Lorne Gibson, and his entire staff, because he levied hundreds of thousands of dollars in fines to those in the UCP party, for not obeying the election laws, and he was also looking at his leadership race, in the Kamikaze affair. The previous leader of the UCP has never revealed their donors list. Come to think of it, there is no visible donors list from Danielle Smith. Maybe Elections Alberta will put Davey in his place. The NDP were the ones who banned union and corporate donations to political parties in Alberta, but in regards to corporate donations to political parties in this province, the UCP reinstated those. Davey seems to be grasping at straws, when he detracts to the NDP. The UCP and Take Back Alberta seem to be a retread of the Social Credit Party, and the Reform Party, which are basically the same thing. Anyone that happened to know Peter Lougheed, or his MLAs, will tell you how bad these Reformers are. They cheat us out of our oil and tax wealth, and destroy jobs. Since Alberta has had the Conservatives in power for a very long time frame, except for 2015 to 2019, when the NDP were in power, what exactly is Take Back Alberta taking back Alberta from? The supporters of these pseudo Conservatives and Reformers don’t have any understanding of the matter, and they call anyone who disagrees with them nasty names, including calling them communists. This is seen in newspaper comment sections. Where’s the sense in any of this?

    1. Hi Anonymous. I can’t see any sense in anything the UCP does, and most of what Danielle Smith does is the opposite of good sense. Now she’s trying to bring that dead coalmine back to life, and enabling political parties at the municipal level; just two more bits of stupidity on top of all the others.

      I guess the answer to your question is that, in the aftermath of losing an election (read that as “Oh God—we LOST AN ELECTION!!! Ogodogodogod, we’re DOOMED!!!”) these idiots never got over the shock. I haven’t heard of anyone calling Rachel Notley the Antichrist, but if Naheed Nenshi (1) becomes NDP leader and (2) wins in 2027, somebody’s sure to call Nenshi the Antichrist…or worse.

      1. Mike J Danysh: Also, the UCP wants a police state. It’s why they want the R.C.M.P gone. They don’t like being investigated. However, on Postmedia sites, people have a different take. The columnists think a provincial police force for Alberta would be wonderful.

  3. As far as I can tell all Take Back Alberta seems to be trying to take us back from now are Federal Conservatives Kenney and Poilievre. Although she initially seemed ambivalent, it served Smith’s interests well to get rid of Kenney, but attacking Poilievre does not. So the friendly fire may have become too much for Alberta conservatives, who may have quietly finally concluded something must be done about Parker.

    Normally they would probably not be very enthusiastic about such Elections Alberta investigations, but I suspect this time they may not try to stop it. Yes, Parker will go on about being persecuted and that may appeal to some of his supporters, but probably not many mainstream law and order conservatives with sympathize. He may even try to appeal to or pressure the Premier, but she can just say she can’t interfere in such investigations and leave it at that. So at this point I do not see a good ending coming for Parker’s era of kamikaze political influence.

  4. “It will be interesting to see how many of his supporters show up.

    “One has the feeling that Mr. Parker…doesn’t really enjoy the support he thinks he does, and perhaps once did, within the United Conservative Party.”

    This is the most crucial point of David’s excellent column, and leaves me very interested in going to the Elections Alberta office on Mar 22 just to see Parker’s collapse.

    David Parker ascended to his current position when a lot of people were angry about Covid restrictions and in search of a leader. In the absence of a current source of anger, I don’t see how many people have much motivation to take time off work and drive to Edmonton to participate in a protest. I really believe Mr. Parker is setting himself up for a real embarrassment.

    If it fizzles like I think it will, it will also be interesting to see if our beloved premier continues to be so afraid of him.

  5. “Mr. Parker promised to behave himself”—yes, but only as relates to Pierre Poilievre, the Next Prime Minister of Oilberduhstan.

    And hey, what happened to “turn the other cheek” and “render unto Ceasar that which is Ceasar’s”?

    Here’s a paraphrase, from a non-Biblical source for Mr. Parker: “He doth protest too much, methinks.” –W. Shakespeare, “Hamlet” Scene II

    1. As you know, Mike, it’s perfectly acceptable at AlbertaPolitics.ca to quote Shakespeare and the Bible in the same post. King James Version only, please, even when it’s impossible to understand. DJC

  6. “And calling the crowd to him with his disciples, he said to them, If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it.” Mark 15:33-34 I imagine Parker thinks he’s going to add a chapter to the “good book”! What a toxic fool he is!

    1. BREAKING NEWS! Sources close to David Parker who wish their identities withheld for fear of flaming street cars from heaven, have said that he’s planning to assail all of Christendom, with a demand that his apostolic book of: “Truck Nuts”, be added to the King James bible! Now is that the Alberta advantage?

  7. Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
    That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
    And then is heard no more. It is a tale
    Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
    Signifying nothing.
    MacBeth Act 5, scene 5

    1. Bob: Well, we can say what we will, but in his own strange way, Mr. Parker hes definitely improved the tone of the commentary on this blog! DJC

  8. Eh? I don’t think Davey Parker (King of the Crazy Frontier, cue the theme music with apologies to Walt Disney), will find it that easy to have Alberta Elections staff fired. Neither will it be possible to jettison the law under which they operate, I think. This is hubris on his part. Now, if TBA holds a pray in at the Alberta Elections office next Friday? It might well incur the wrath of God on the TBA. Did not Hobbes in Leviathan suggest rulers were divinely ordained? Just asking. Turn out for the protest? His mommy and daddy, himself, and Al Zealots.

  9. “I will not be releasing the names of our donors so that they can be harassed by left wing activists.” Do the left wing activists include those he insulted including his nemesis, the unbespectacled Mr. Peepers?

  10. I have drunk and seen the spider! Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive! For… your lips have spoken lies, your tongue hath muttered perverseness. None calleth for justice, nor any pleadeth for truth: they trust in vanity, and speak lies; they conceive mischief, and bring forth iniquity. They hatch cockatrice’ eggs, and weave the spider’s web. Weaving spiders, come not here, Hence, you long legged spinners, hence!
    Sir Walter Scott allowed?

  11. 1. “A personality disorder arises when one develops an inflexible and uncompromising pattern of maladaptive thinking and behaving, which significantly impairs social or occupational functioning and can cause interpersonal distress.”

    2. “The Icarus complex shares many traits of personality disorders found in “dark psychology.” Individuals who consciously take advantage of others exhibit characteristics known as the “Dark Triad of Personality.” These traits include the tendency to seek admiration and special treatment (narcissism), to be callous and insensitive (psychopathy) and to manipulate others for one’s personal gain (Machiavellianism). The person with an Icarus complex initially soars but ultimately plummets precipitously from lofty heights.”

  12. That somehow we have to pay attention to this cultist and to his devious mind is what bothers me. How can we as a province be even considering this idiot as an influencial person in 2024. Elections Alberta should pack him in and send him to Trump as a gift

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