Alberta Politics
You just can’t make this stuff up (Image: United Conservative Party).

The Annals of Alberta poetry: The United Conservative Party sends us a Kenney Valentine

Posted on February 14, 2021, 10:32 pm
11 secs

I choo-choo-chooose
To get a fair deal for you

Actual United Conservative Party Valentine’s Day Twitter meme 

Keystone is dead
The billions are lost
I blame Joe Biden
But I’ll probably get tossed

The actual UCP meme published today (Image: Twitter).

Response by @DaveCournoyer 

The ocean is blue
The sky is the same
Steve Allan’s still lookin’
for someone to blame 

Shandro is Red,
Kenney is Blue.
The pandemic is perfect
to push bad policy through.

Response by “Dr. Heref Oru”

Green is the forest
Blue is the sea.
All of our doctors
have moved to B.C. 

Managing issues
is a difficult game,
you’ll never win prizes
for stuff that’s this lame

Afterword

I think that I shall never see
a poem that helps the UCP;
t
hat’s all tonight
from DJC 

11 Comments to: The Annals of Alberta poetry: The United Conservative Party sends us a Kenney Valentine

  1. tom

    February 15th, 2021

    I met a traveller from an antique land,
    Who said—“Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
    Stand in the desert. . . . Near them, on the sand,
    Half sunk a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
    And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
    Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
    Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
    The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;
    And on the pedestal, these words appear:
    My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
    Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
    Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
    Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare
    The lone and level sands stretch far away.”
    -Percy Bysshe Shelley

    And if you don’t like this, there’s always “The Red Masque of Death” by Edgar Allan Poe.

    Reply
  2. Bob Raynard

    February 15th, 2021

    Judging by the look on Jason Kenney’s face, I think he needs to buy more comfortable underwear.

    Reply
  3. Joseph McCarthy

    February 15th, 2021

    The one thing that will keep our doctors here is fully privatized, choice-based health care. Fortunately Shandro is moving in that direction.

    Reply
  4. Anonymous

    February 15th, 2021

    Those are good ones!

    Reply
  5. Abs

    February 15th, 2021

    Ralph Wiggum’s a cartoon,
    Kenney is too.
    The whole UCP is nothing but p°°.

    Reply
  6. Robert Bott

    February 15th, 2021

    It ain’t over until the fat man sings.

    * If you need a refresher on context, see “What’s Opera Doc”: https://vimeo.com/444002896

    Reply
  7. Dave

    February 15th, 2021

    Poetic justice to be sure!

    Reply
  8. Albertan

    February 15th, 2021

    Mountains are purple
    Forests are green
    Water is blue
    Coal is black
    The Kenney UCP is stabbing us in the back.

    Reply
    • Rocky

      February 16th, 2021

      There was a young man from Japan
      Whose limericks just would not scan
      When told it was so
      He replied, yes, I know,
      But I always try to cram as many words into the last line as I ever possibly can!

      Reply
  9. CovKid

    February 15th, 2021

    I see the dummy but where’s the ventriloquist?

    Reply
  10. Abs

    February 16th, 2021

    OMG, the blue half-zip pullover sweater is Jason Kenney’s nod to the sweater vest. The Thomas-type train is his version of the cuddly kitten, but less sentient. (Perhaps the base is made up of five-year-olds?) Jason Kenney has officially turned into Stephen Harper.

    Here’s my belated valentine to monsieur le Kenney.

    https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/newfoundland-labrador/take-your-sweater-vest-and-get-lost-warrior-princess-tells-harper-1.770779

    FYI, Stephen Harper also wore blue V-neck pullovers for photo ops.

    Reply

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