Our American cousins vote in a historic presidential election today and we wish them well in their endeavor, even if we would have preferred they spelled it endeavour.
This message, however, is for my American cousins, be they on Manhattan Island or in Manhattan, Kansas.
Blood is thicker than water, but you must understand that you cannot assume, should President Donald J. Trump be re-elected, that you can simply move to Canada to get away from the nightmare that will ensue.
We Canadians, you see, will have some say in this matter, and fond though we may be of you as individuals, we simply cannot have you all bringing your troubles across the Medicine Line. Our decisions, moreover, will of necessity need to be made collectively.
So you are just going to have to deal with this yourselves. If you haven’t done it already, you know what you need to do today, for the sake of your Republic, our Dominion, and the rest of the planet as well. To wit: Vote!
We have our own little Trump imitators up here and while they are merely annoying for the most part now, they will become insufferable if they receive any more encouragement from your side of the world’s longest undefended border.
Indeed, in such circumstances we may have to build a wall and let you pay for it.
It is profoundly to be hoped it doesn’t come to that.
It is also to be hoped, let me add, that if Our American Cousin plays any time soon again in Washington, it has a much happier ending than the last time.
Fondly, your Canadian cousin