Russian President Vladimir Putin hunting for grizzly bears. Will Alberta Premier Jim Prentice join him? Below: Mr. Prentice.

Russian President Vladimir Putin congratulated Alberta Premier Jim Prentice today for his government’s effort yesterday to make it easy to deny the existence of LGBTQ Albertans by making it difficult for students to talk about LGBTQ issues.

“No one is allowed to talk about gay people in Russia and now Alberta is following our Russian example thanks to the leadership of Premier Prentice,” President Putin said. “Albertans will find, just as we Russians have, that if you don’t talk about something, there is nothing to talk about. This is good.”

“If you have a statue of an iPhone anywhere in Alberta,” the Russian president advised, “I would tear it down immediately. These kinds of structures can become rallying points for subversive elements.”

Mr. Prentice was busy today putting out fires among his party’s own supporters, some of whom are concerned that his campaign to put the right of parents to object to the teaching of sexuality and evolution above such rights as freedom of speech, association and assembly could have unintended consequences in the future, and was unavailable to comment on Mr. Putin’s message.

“Don’t worry about it,” Mr. Putin said. “I am busy too, in Ukraine, selling gas to China and here at home tearing down statues.

“But I would like to meet Mr. Prentice,” the Russian leader said. “Perhaps I will invite him to join me hunting grizzly bears with no shirts, by which I mean we would wear no shirts, not the grizzly bears, who like our citizens have no choice in the matter. Ha!”

Full disclosure: Everything in this story is “news satire,” which means the author just made it up. Sort of… Except the link to the Canadian Press story, of course. It was in the National Post, so it must be true!

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  1. As a parent and grandparent, I demand to be able to say “yes” or “no” to what my children are taught in school and out of school;….The LGBTQ folks are asking for special rights over and above everyone elses and that is wrong..we should all be treated equally and the schools have the obligation to educate our kids and grandkids so they may move on to a worthwhile career….

    1. Mr. Stuart: You can demand what you like but you do not in fact have the right to decide what your kids and grandkids are taught in school. This is true in any society. You can fervently and sincerely believe that an identifiable racial or religious group should be persecuted; you can fervently and sincerely believe that the law of gravity has been suspended by God, or by the school janitor; but you don’t get to decide that things like that are part of the school curriculum. As for what you imagine is being “taught” in GSAs, which I censored, it was ignorant, offensive and factually wrong. It is also factually incorrect to say LGBTQ groups are asking for special rights above everyone else – unlike, for example, members of certain Christian sects with their own school boards. How will LGBTQ children move on to a worthwhile career if they commit suicide because they are bullied in school by little creeps enabled and encouraged by their elders?

  2. Anyone remember that Calgary developer thing ( the”Urban Development Institute”) a couple of years ago? They had this bigoted idea that some folks would like to buy in developments with “comfort capital,”that is, neighbourhoods “protected” from interactions with, omg, gay people. The world laughed its derriere off, the website was pulled in 24 hours, and everyone associated with the developer was revealed as an utter dope. So now Mr. Prentice and his minions have gone down the same dumb, dumb road with this silly dishonest claptrap of “protecting” . . . parents! Kids need protecting. They need protecting from creeps, as stated above. It’s a simple concept.

  3. What happened to WTF ALBERTA? I would think this is more in that vein, no?

    As to comments above : The fact that anyone suggests that the LGBTQ community is asking for “special” rights rather than just plain rights is the nub of the problem. Seems that Drumheller is not the only place to find dinosaurs in Alberta.

  4. Putin is surrounded by oligarchs who are thieves, and none of them are prosecuted. Why? Because none of them dare to challenge Putin for power! And Khodorkovsky was in the process of going straight, demanding Western-style accounting transparency for his business which none of Putin’s favored oligarchs are doing. Putin himself is stealing billions and building an array of palaces to live in, yet Putin is not prosecuted. And the Khodorkovsky judge openly admits he was pressured by the Kremlin. This is not justice, this is shame for Russia. It is not the way forward.

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